Everyone has a bum; inside that bum is a powerhouse of pleasure centres. The anus itself is very complex and whether you own a prostate or not anal sex can be very enjoyable when done correctly, this is a guide to good anal for beginners, but we need to touch on a few topics before we dive in!
Firstly and most importantly,
just because someone has given you consent to have sex with them, doesn’t mean they have given you consent to have anal sex with them!
We have a lot of people come in our store saying things like “my boyfriend really wants to try anal with me, but I’m not comfortable with it, how can I make it hurt less for me?” well firstly if you are not comfortable with it, you don’t have to do it! Anal sex can be great but if you’re not ready or just not interested then that’s ok, and your partner needs to respect that!
Is it safe to do? The short answer is yes!
But as with everything it's best to start small and work you’re way up. If your trying to fit a larger than normal phallus inside your bum then things aren’t going to go very well, grab an anal training kit from your local adult store and try it out for yourself!
On the “how can I make it not hurt” subject, well anal sex can be uncomfortable at first, but it should never hurt. If it’s hurting, then it's time to stop or slow down! Here are a few tips to do anal right, so it's good for everyone!
Lube Lube Lube!
Lubricant is so important when it comes to anal sex! We recommend not using a normal water-based lubricant you bought with your sex toys, it's best not to use lubricants that are designed to be used for vaginal sex, most of these lubricants are slightly acidic to blend well with the vagina's natural lubrication PH, this is not a great idea for anal play!
Try using a simple silicone-based anal lubricant like the Swiss Navy Premium Silicone Anal Lubricant it's nothing fancy, and it’s perfect for skin-on-skin anal sex without toys.
If you are using a condom (safe sex is good sex even with anal), use the water-based version as some condoms aren’t safe to use with water-based version as some condoms aren’t safe to use with some silicone lubricants.
Should I use numbing sprays?
The short answer… NO!
The problem with numbing sprays is that hide the body’s natural response to tell you that something is wrong, pain,
If you are in pain then it’s a good indication that something is wrong, and you should stop immediately!
On the other hand, relaxing lubricants and sprays like the PJUR Analyse Me or the PJUR Back Door are both great products for people that are feeling a little anxious about anal play, they are designed to relax the muscles in the area and make penetration easier without numbing anything. The other main issue with numbing sprays is that you won’t feel all the amazing sensations that can come with anal, and it would be a shame to miss out on that!
Consent and Control:
It’s always recommended that the person receiving anal is the one controlling the situation, the pace, and the depth everything is up to the receiver and as always express consent can be withdrawn at any time!
Try finishing on anal rather than starting with it!
Feeling a little tense, that’s ok have an orgasm! Orgasm or genital stimulation is a great way to de-stress and relax your muscles! Anal sex is always going to feel more comfortable after one or two orgasms, and it’s a great way to finish what has already been a great and fulfilling sack session!
Worried about making a mess?
For some people, the idea of anal is that it’s dirty and messy, this is a normal concern! That’s why we have Anal Douches! It’s not such a bad idea to get in there and have a clean out before and after anal, it’s not mandatory, but it might help if you know your pipes are clean beforehand. Remember it's never a good idea to douche vaginally unless instructed to by your GP or physician, and it's best not to douche anally if not necessary as well for the same reasons!