Best Sex Toys for Beginners: A No-Awkwardness Guide to Getting Started

Buying your first sex toy should feel exciting, not intimidating.

But with so many shapes, sizes, buttons, buzzes and bedroom promises flying around, it’s fair to wonder where the hell to start.

At Danish Blue, we’ve been helping people explore pleasure since 1978, so trust us when we say: there is no “right” first toy. There is only the toy that feels right for your body, your comfort level and your curiosity.

Whether you’re shopping solo, buying something for you and your partner, or finally upgrading from “I’ll just see what happens”, this beginner’s guide will help you choose with confidence.

Ready to browse? Start with our full range of adult toys, explore beginner-friendly vibrators, or add some glide with lube.

What Makes a Sex Toy Beginner-Friendly?

A good beginner sex toy is not about being boring. It’s about being easy to use, comfortable to hold and not requiring a 45-minute instruction manual before anything fun happens.

Beginner-friendly toys usually have:

• Simple controls
• Comfortable sizes
• Body-safe materials
• Easy cleaning
• Adjustable speeds or settings
• A non-intimidating shape
• Compatibility with water-based lube
• A clear purpose, such as clitoral stimulation, G-spot play, couples play or external massage

If you’re new to toys, start simple. You can always get wilder later. Danish Blue isn’t going anywhere.

Best Sex Toys for Beginners

1. Bullet Vibrators

Bullet vibrators are one of the easiest toys to start with. They’re small, discreet and designed for external stimulation, making them a great first step if you want something simple but effective.

They’re ideal if you want:

• A compact toy
• Easy controls
• External stimulation
• Something travel-friendly
• A lower-pressure first toy

Bullet vibrators are also great for couples because they’re easy to bring into the bedroom without making the whole thing feel like a science experiment.

Browse beginner-friendly options in our vibrators collection.

2. Clitoral Vibrators

Clitoral vibrators are popular for a reason. They’re made for external pleasure and often give more targeted stimulation than a standard bullet.

Some use vibration, some use air-pulse or suction-style stimulation, and some do a bit of everything because apparently one sensation wasn’t enough.

Choose a clitoral vibrator if you want:

• Focused external stimulation
• A toy that is easy to guide
• Different intensity settings
• A strong option for solo play
• A beginner toy that still has plenty of power

Start on the lowest setting and work your way up. Your body will tell you what it likes, usually without needing a formal meeting.

3. Wand Massagers

Wand massagers are the power tools of the pleasure drawer. They’re usually larger than bullets and clitoral toys, but they’re still beginner-friendly because they’re simple to use and versatile.

They can be used for:

• External pleasure
• Body massage
• Couples play
• Broad stimulation
• Exploring different pressure levels

A wand is a good choice if you prefer a deeper, rumbly sensation rather than pinpoint stimulation. Just don’t start on the highest setting unless you enjoy being humbled.

Explore more options in our wand collection.

4. Small Dildos

For beginners curious about internal play, a small dildo can be a great starting point. Look for something with a comfortable size, smooth shape and body-safe material.

Beginner tip: do not choose the biggest one just because it looks impressive. This is not a gym challenge.

Look for:

• Smooth silicone or body-safe materials
• A manageable size
• A flared base if using anally
• Easy cleaning
• A shape that feels comfortable, not intimidating

Always pair internal toys with lube, especially if you’re new to penetration or trying a new material.

5. Couple’s Toys

Couple’s toys are designed to be used together, which makes them a great choice if you want to turn “should we try something?” into “why did we not try this sooner?”

Beginner-friendly couple’s toys can include:

• Small vibrators
• Remote-controlled toys
• Cock rings
• Couples kits
• Massage oils
• Teasing accessories

The best option depends on what you want to explore together. If you’re not sure, start with something simple like a small vibrator or a cock ring and keep the mood playful.

You can browse the wider adult toys range to find toys for solo and partnered play.

Don’t Forget Lube. Seriously.

If there’s one beginner rule worth remembering, it’s this: lube makes almost everything better.

Lube can help reduce friction, increase comfort and make toys feel smoother against the body. It’s especially helpful for beginners because it removes a lot of the “is this supposed to feel like that?” uncertainty.

Which lube should beginners choose?

• Water-based lube: The safest all-rounder. Works with most toys and condoms.
• Silicone-based lube: Longer-lasting and great for water play, but not always suitable with silicone toys.
• Anal lube: Thicker and designed for extra comfort during anal play.
• Flavoured lube: Best for oral play and adding a little fun.
• Sensitive skin lube: Good if you prefer gentle, glycerin-free or paraben-free options.

For most beginners, water-based lube is the easiest place to start.

Shop our full lube range or explore Lubricants & Essentials for toy care, condoms, massage oils and more.

How to Choose Your First Sex Toy

Start With What You’re Curious About

Before choosing a toy, ask yourself what kind of pleasure you want to explore.

Do you want external stimulation? Start with a bullet or clitoral vibrator.

Want something more powerful? Try a wand.

Curious about internal play? Choose a small dildo and use plenty of lube.

Shopping with a partner? Try a couple’s toy, cock ring or massage product.

There’s no need to buy the wildest thing on the shelf first. Unless that’s your personality, in which case, respect.

Choose Body-Safe Materials

Look for toys made from body-safe materials such as silicone, ABS plastic, stainless steel or glass. These are easier to clean and better suited for intimate use.

Avoid mystery materials, overly sticky textures or anything that smells like it belongs in a hardware store.

Beginner-friendly toys should be:

• Non-porous where possible
• Easy to clean
• Smooth to the touch
• Compatible with the right lube
• Made by a trusted brand

Think About Noise, Size and Charging

A toy can look great online, but beginners should also consider practical details.

Before buying, check:

• Is it rechargeable or battery-operated?
• Is it waterproof or splashproof?
• Is it quiet enough for your living situation?
• Is the size comfortable?
• Are the controls easy to understand?
• Is it easy to clean and store?

A toy that suits your real life is more likely to get used. Revolutionary, we know.

Beginner Mistakes to Avoid

Going Too Big Too Soon

Bigger is not always better, especially when you’re starting out. Comfort matters more than size.

Skipping Lube

Lube is not just for “when you need it”. It can make toys feel better, reduce friction and help you relax.

Starting on the Highest Setting

Most toys have multiple speeds for a reason. Start low, then build.

Buying Based on Looks Alone

A toy might look impressive, but the best toy is the one that suits your body and your experience level.

Forgetting to Clean Your Toys

Clean your toys before and after use. Use warm water and toy cleaner where suitable, and always follow the product instructions.

You can browse toy care products in Lubricants & Essentials.

Best Beginner Sex Toy Combinations

The Solo Starter Kit

• Bullet vibrator
• Water-based lube
• Toy cleaner

Best for: first-time toy users who want something simple, discreet and easy to enjoy.

The “I Want More Power” Kit

• Wand massager
• Water-based lube
• Storage pouch

Best for: people who prefer stronger external stimulation.

The Couple’s Starter Kit

• Small vibrator
• Cock ring
• Massage oil or lube

Best for: couples who want to introduce toys without overcomplicating the moment.

The Internal Play Starter Kit

• Small dildo
• Water-based lube
• Toy cleaner

Best for: beginners exploring penetration comfortably and safely.

FAQs About Beginner Sex Toys

What is the best sex toy for beginners?

A bullet vibrator, clitoral vibrator or small wand is usually a great first toy because they’re easy to use, non-intimidating and designed for external stimulation.

Do I need lube with my first sex toy?

Yes, it’s a good idea. Lube can make toys feel smoother and more comfortable. Water-based lube is the easiest beginner option because it works with most toys.

Are sex toys safe to use?

Yes, when you choose body-safe toys, clean them properly and use them as directed. Always check the material, cleaning instructions and lube compatibility.

What sex toy should couples try first?

A small vibrator, cock ring or couple’s toy is a good place to start. Keep it simple, talk about what feels good and don’t turn it into a performance review.

How do I clean a sex toy?

Clean toys before and after use with warm water and a suitable toy cleaner. Always follow the product instructions, especially for rechargeable or waterproof toys.

Can I visit a store for advice?

Yes. Danish Blue has Melbourne stores with experienced staff who can help you choose something that suits your comfort level, budget and curiosity.

Ready to Choose Your First Toy?

Your first sex toy does not need to be scary, awkward or wildly overcomplicated.

Start with what feels comfortable. Add lube. Choose body-safe materials. Keep it simple. Then, when you’re ready, explore from there.

Shop beginner-friendly adult toys, browse our range of vibrators, or find the right lube to make everything smoother.

No judgement. No awkwardness. Just good advice, discreet shipping and a lot more fun in the top drawer.